My Volkswagen Beetle

So what if the Beetle was voted the safest car in 1990 something. The price seemed so reasonable at the time. I thought, “Wow! This is almost too good to be true!” Well, it was and I’m definitely paying for it now. I don’t even want to tell you how many tires I’ve had to replace on my car. You’d think I was a NASCAR driver or working for the government. The hubcaps have popped off so many times I’ve lost count; I’m actually currently missing the front passenger side hubcap. I’ve replaced so many belts, pans, pads and hoses; I could have saved those parts and made another car. Not to mention the cup holders have never fit any American made cup, so I would resort to just placing the cup in my lap… Smart… The whole car smelled like old milk from spilling iced lattes all over myself, so I bought one of the most potent car fresheners out there. The scent was something like “Baby Powder” or “Fresh Powder.” I just about died every time I stepped into my car. I had constant headaches and came out smelling like a freakin’ nursery. You better believe I trashed that freshener right away. So now my car smells like old milk with remnants of baby powder. I think it smells worse than before. My air conditioner stopped working 3 years ago when my sister and I decided to take a road trip across the country to California. Did I happen to mention that it stopped working in the middle of the desert in June… That was pleasant! I have lost all control of my “power windows.” I have to actually tug on the top of my window when it’s open to get it to even move an inch. My tape player died about 3 years ago (who has cassette tapes anyway), the 6 disk CD player in the trunk stopped working 6 years ago and the AM/FM button popped off when the dealership tried fixing the tape player. By the way, they never fixed any of those problems, shocker. My antenna looks like mice have gnawed off the aesthetic exterior coating, so now all you see is the coil wiring…lovely. BEWARE car buyers, stay away from Volkswagens! At least the Beetle side of the lot…Every part underneath the hood is plastic, plastic, plastic. If you want a car that will be in the shop the majority of the time you own it, step right up, sign your name in that stupid computer, and let this mass European corporation decide what car is best for you. What you don’t really know, is that the car salesman has screened you for your perfect fit, excuses himself for just a moment, and suggests while you wait, to try their new “Sign and Drive” event…Just sign the key pad, and your signature tells the computer what car is best for you…Yeah right, cause my hand has made me very happy. It’s the reason I’m so successful. Every important decision I need to make, I’m sure to consult with my writing hand first. Please tell me that the salesman didn’t just step away and put your name and preferred car in the computer. I’m sure every dealership or even every car has their thing, but when it’s one thing after another, enough is enough. I would not wish this car on my worst enemy.