So you're talking to someone, you're having a great conversation, really connecting...all the sudden someone you "sort of know" comes up to the two of you and kind of hovers around, closer than you'd like them too. At first you try to ignore them, thinking, "Okay, if I give them the cold shoulder long enough, maybe they'll go away." But oh no, they stay. Like a vulture waiting to devour its dead prey, they stay. You try to switch bodily positions so that there is no way you can make eye contact with them. You can suddenly hear the pounding of your heart, and you're pretty sure everyone else can too. The frustration turns to sweat beads on your forehead. "Why haven't they left yet?!?!" Then you feel guilty for standing there, having a great conversation that they're not apart of. So you try to introduce them into the conversation as smoothly as possible, pretending that you had no idea they were standing there the whole time...It's awkward, it's uncomfortable, and you just want to crawl underneath any piece of furniture willing to invite you into it's space. Isn't it usually a person you're ashamed of knowing or are embarrassed to have even conversed with. You try sending hinted apologies and slight notes of caution to the blissfully unaware participant. "Do not get personal!! You'll regret it..." is what your bloodshot eyes are trying to convey to your poor friend. Sadly, this circular chain of events will never change until you "claim your space." Just like in AA, maybe you should introduce yourself as the following: "Hello, my name is Meaghan, and I have stiff boundaries. So don't even think about breaking through my barrier!" Or maybe we should all go through life with one arm stretched out in front, and one stretched behind, so there is no confusion over where your "bubble" begins and ends. But who wants to do that all day? How could we drink our coffee, or text while we drive? So, to the personal space invaders, get a clue, take a pill or find someone else to creep out, please.
So you're talking to someone, you're having a great conversation, really connecting...all the sudden someone you "sort of know" comes up to the two of you and kind of hovers around, closer than you'd like them too. At first you try to ignore them, thinking, "Okay, if I give them the cold shoulder long enough, maybe they'll go away." But oh no, they stay. Like a vulture waiting to devour its dead prey, they stay. You try to switch bodily positions so that there is no way you can make eye contact with them. You can suddenly hear the pounding of your heart, and you're pretty sure everyone else can too. The frustration turns to sweat beads on your forehead. "Why haven't they left yet?!?!" Then you feel guilty for standing there, having a great conversation that they're not apart of. So you try to introduce them into the conversation as smoothly as possible, pretending that you had no idea they were standing there the whole time...It's awkward, it's uncomfortable, and you just want to crawl underneath any piece of furniture willing to invite you into it's space. Isn't it usually a person you're ashamed of knowing or are embarrassed to have even conversed with. You try sending hinted apologies and slight notes of caution to the blissfully unaware participant. "Do not get personal!! You'll regret it..." is what your bloodshot eyes are trying to convey to your poor friend. Sadly, this circular chain of events will never change until you "claim your space." Just like in AA, maybe you should introduce yourself as the following: "Hello, my name is Meaghan, and I have stiff boundaries. So don't even think about breaking through my barrier!" Or maybe we should all go through life with one arm stretched out in front, and one stretched behind, so there is no confusion over where your "bubble" begins and ends. But who wants to do that all day? How could we drink our coffee, or text while we drive? So, to the personal space invaders, get a clue, take a pill or find someone else to creep out, please.
LOL =)
ReplyDeleteI look forward to reading your insights. You bring a smile and lot's of laughs. Love, Cath
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