Did you ever wonder why men just couldn't keep up with woman's conversation? The infamous argument of the "stay on subject, please," from equal parties. I've heard it said before that men are like waffles and women are like spaghetti. I happen to agree with this statement
. And because men are like waffles, every part of their life has it's separate box, or waffle as it were. Rarely anything from their personal life trickles into their work. Rarely any two relationships merge in some catastrophic or paralyzing way, unless it involves his mother and his wife. Men are usually clear cut, analytical, black and white horse blinders. Now you have women on the other hand. Like wet noodles, we are valleys and mountains of emotion. Everything connects to everything else. If we say one thing, it means something totally and completely different, and it will relate to something negative and positive at the same time. Yes, we really do want that birthday party we told you a week ago that we didn't want. If we're crying about something, it probably also means we're crying about 10 other things...no exaggeration. We are passionate, bipolar, dramatic energizer bunnies. There is no end to our methods or madness. They all connect in some sinister, uncanny way. Guys, let me finally put a word to your everlasting confusion regarding women's conversations. My family got together one evening, and all the girls were chatting. All the sudden we were interrupted by a very loud, abrupt explanation of "Wormhole!!!" We all shifted our attention toward the very comfy, very green La-Z-Boy sofa where my dad was reclining with a countenance of accomplishment. My mom quickly turned and asked what we were all thinking of. "What?" He repeated himself, "Wormhole...that's what you were just doing. I'm just saying." We all laughed at his explanation of the term; I think more at the fact that our behavior had finally been named after 20 years of an estrogen overrun house. See, apparently, "wormholing" is what women do to change subjects very quickly, but smoothly in a conversation. We can do it even with strangers, given it's a female. Our conversation seems to flow into relative and non-relative subjects based on memories, experience and apparently also our bipolar nature. We could be talking about puppies one moment and then all the sudden we're onto animal cruelty, and then back and forth to PEZ dispensers and beauty pageants. I'm going to give you guys the essential tool kit to surviving a wormhole invasion when you're girlfriend's pal comes over.
. And because men are like waffles, every part of their life has it's separate box, or waffle as it were. Rarely anything from their personal life trickles into their work. Rarely any two relationships merge in some catastrophic or paralyzing way, unless it involves his mother and his wife. Men are usually clear cut, analytical, black and white horse blinders. Now you have women on the other hand. Like wet noodles, we are valleys and mountains of emotion. Everything connects to everything else. If we say one thing, it means something totally and completely different, and it will relate to something negative and positive at the same time. Yes, we really do want that birthday party we told you a week ago that we didn't want. If we're crying about something, it probably also means we're crying about 10 other things...no exaggeration. We are passionate, bipolar, dramatic energizer bunnies. There is no end to our methods or madness. They all connect in some sinister, uncanny way. Guys, let me finally put a word to your everlasting confusion regarding women's conversations. My family got together one evening, and all the girls were chatting. All the sudden we were interrupted by a very loud, abrupt explanation of "Wormhole!!!" We all shifted our attention toward the very comfy, very green La-Z-Boy sofa where my dad was reclining with a countenance of accomplishment. My mom quickly turned and asked what we were all thinking of. "What?" He repeated himself, "Wormhole...that's what you were just doing. I'm just saying." We all laughed at his explanation of the term; I think more at the fact that our behavior had finally been named after 20 years of an estrogen overrun house. See, apparently, "wormholing" is what women do to change subjects very quickly, but smoothly in a conversation. We can do it even with strangers, given it's a female. Our conversation seems to flow into relative and non-relative subjects based on memories, experience and apparently also our bipolar nature. We could be talking about puppies one moment and then all the sudden we're onto animal cruelty, and then back and forth to PEZ dispensers and beauty pageants. I'm going to give you guys the essential tool kit to surviving a wormhole invasion when you're girlfriend's pal comes over. Rule # 1: Recognize the wormhole.
Rule #2: You need to acknowledge that your girl isn't crazy for being able to communicate with women.
Rule #3: Maybe make a mental note of how many wormholes you went through, so when you come out on the other end, you feel accomplished getting through X amount of insane subject changes.
Rule #4: Definitely the most important rule of all...NEVER mention to the girls, that they've just wormholed!
There will be so much tone in her look...drop that video game controller and run! I fear the only way men can actually participate in the wormhole is if they close their eyes and visualize themselves as Luke Skywalkwer, risking his life for the Rebellion, trudging his way through the belly of the Death Star, and making it out by the skin of his teeth. So unless you're Luke Skywalker, sorry, you'll just have to listen.
Well, you're Dad oughta know a thing or two about women and how they communicate. 20 years, he should get a medal or something. :)
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