The daily adventures of a switchboard operator:
1) Yelling into the receiver does not make your pronunciation any clearer, HONEY.
1) Yelling into the receiver does not make your pronunciation any clearer, HONEY.
2) When I clearly ask for your name, do not repeat the name of the person you want to speak with...How could I announce you that way? Now one in their right mind wants to talk with themselves.
3) When I say Sir or Ma'am, it's not a "Respect" thing, it means shut up and listen to me.
4) When I ask you to hold, it doesn't mean speak louder, quicker and more aggressively, so I can hear everything you have to say before I push the hold button, it means, "Hold" DEAR.
5) If I ask you if you'd like to leave a voicemail for the unavailable party, this does not mean leave your message with me. Does my voice sound like a very long and monotoned beeeeeeeep...I don't think so LOVE.
6) If you're a solicitor, and I know it, I'll put you directly to voicemail...I mean come on, using words like "the manager, the owner, or person who's in charge of making decisions," are a dead giveaway... maybe you should be more inventive if you're trying to make money off of cold-calling...please do not call me back 50 times after I direct you to voicemail, then hang up, it's not very becoming of you. Plus, you look like even more of a duffus if I have caller id, which I do...
7) At the end of my greeting, the question, "How may I direct your call?" is not your que to tell me your whole life story. My question really means, "I'm the one making minimum wage at this establishment, maybe you should think twice about telling a nobody all your most intimate life details."
8) Giving me attitude is only gonna land you in the voicemail. No one wants to speak with the Grinch. I'm really doing you a favor. Didn't your mama ever tell you about first impressions?
9) When you get the voicemail of the person you really want to speak with, leave them a voicemail. Do not call me back and say that you were disconnected, because we both know you weren't. You were just too much of a whiny BABY to take what I gave you...
10) When I say they're "unavailable" this doesn't mean we now start to play "20 Questions..." so you can find out what they're really doing. it means they don't want to speak with you now, so call back....never.
11) If I purposefully hang up on you cause you were being a dick, when I answer the line again, I'll always pretend that: a) I'm another person, or b) that it was totally an accident.
12) There's a reason I don't give you my name, so don't ask for it.
These are just a few examples of the daily crap that's dished to your very prompt and helpful 411 operators. So remember, the next time you call INFORMATION, don't act like a dick; Operators are people too!
These are just a few examples of the daily crap that's dished to your very prompt and helpful 411 operators. So remember, the next time you call INFORMATION, don't act like a dick; Operators are people too!
